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Entry tags:
Personality
CW for: drug addiction and suicide attempts
On a good day, Dyme comes across as cheerful and confident, even a little arrogant. He's confident in his musical talents and about his career; he's fought hard for what he has and knows that people enjoy his music. The support of his fans means a lot to him and is a large part of why he keeps making music. He treats his fans like gold and is always glad to talk to them or sign autographs, take pictures with them, whatever makes them happy (within reason). He likes for his fans to feel like each and every one of them matters to him, and they do, because without them he wouldn't be where he is. He always stops to give each of them personal attention if he encounters them in his normal day-to-day life. He enjoys making sure they're having a good time interacting with him. Making sure his fans are happy is especially important to him. He wants them to have a positive memory of having met him. He's not snobby, and doesn't think he's better than anyone else because of his wealth or fame; he acts more like an average person when it comes to talking to others than he does a rockstar. He also enjoys doing nice things for people, like when he agreed to meet Moira's brother without having to be asked.
He's also proud of his progress and how far he's come, and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, no matter how hard it was at times. And, as someone proud of what he's accomplished, he adores any and all praise he receives and soaks it up like a sponge.
Dyme is charismatic and easy to get along with. He never pushes a subject if it makes someone uncomfortable, and he'll back off immediately if his flirting causes discomfort. He's always had a spark of charisma, even when he was a child. All of his brother's close friends enjoyed his company, despite their age gap, and most of them treated him like a little brother instead of a nuisance. Dyme's always been laid back in social situations and never pestered people with endless questions (like his brother's friends), and as he grew up, the spark grew with him. He's managed to charm himself into a lot of places. Charming the bouncer to be allowed into the bar for underage drinking when he was younger? Check. Charming his (former) drug dealers to occasionally throw in a little extra? Double check. He even made friends with some of them and hung out with them from time to time. He's also generally more honest and understanding with people. He never hid things from Moira, for example, because she already knew about his worst secret; his drug addiction. He was always open with her, telling her how he was doing, how he was feeling.
Dyme is not without his regrets though, and one of the things he regrets most of all is the death of his brother. It was in no way his fault, but Nyckel was the only real family Dyme had, so he blames himself for not being able to save him. Nyckel was the only person who supported and encouraged Dyme when they were growing up and Dyme had always looked up to him. He knows Nyckel would have done everything in his power to save him if their situation had been different growing up. Dyme also regrets never being able to know his mother, even though that was in no way his fault, either. The only things Dyme knows about his mother are from the stories that Nyckel would tell him about her, and he wishes he had more.
As far as Dyme's suicidal tendencies go, he's got a lot of survivor's guilt. For his entire life, before he moved away from home, his father blamed him for his mother's death, and eventually, Dyme started to blame himself, too. If he'd never been born, his mother would still be alive. His father never approved of Dyme's failure to finish school or his decision to become a musician. The second blow came when Dyme's brother was killed. Dyme blames himself for that, too, since he got it into his head that he should have been able to do something to help Nyckel. Both of those things combined with the fact that Dyme's a very emotional person who feels emotions strongly, which includes his guilt and self-blame, his anger, and shame over his drug addiction. After so many years of feeling guilt and being told he was responsible for his mother's death, and then blaming himself for Nyckel's death, Dyme developed depression. He doesn't believe that he deserves to live after he's failed people or caused them to die. Throw in the stress of working in the music industry on top of that, and you end up with a cocktail of bad emotions. When things get to be too much for him, Dyme cracks under the pressure and tries to take his own life.
Despite all of his confidence in his music, Dyme is horribly self-conscious about himself as a person. Though he's a recovering addict, he hates that aspect of himself. He doesn't like keeping secrets from people but hides things like his scars because he's ashamed of them. His track marks and other scars, a pair of gunshot scars on his right shoulder, mild burn scars on his upper back, and slight, barely noticeable scars on his chest from when he was cut with broken glass, are all things that bother him. All of them except the track marks were obtained in the building fire when Dyme was thirteen. To handle these scars, Dyme never goes out in public without a shirt or something else with long sleeves. On stage, he typically wears an open-front jacket, since he's not so bothered by the scars on his chest. If he has to do photoshoots, he relies on makeup artists to cover his track marks, and he's never photographed from the back if his back is bare. He's spent a long time worrying that his scars make him undesirable, that no one would want him after they saw them, and he's still struggling to become comfortable with them.
He doesn't think he's strong enough to handle a lot of things on his own. He got used to doing drugs as a crutch to carry him through difficult times, so he gets frightened that even though he's clean now he'll relapse back into old habits. Without Salem by his side, he doesn't know if he could be strong enough. He wants to stay clean though; he was always ashamed of his addiction and knew it was horrible and unhealthy for him. He doesn't want to go back to worrying like he did before that he'll inevitably die from an overdose.
While Dyme has mellowed out some over the years and his patience has grown, he's still pretty short-tempered. Though he has come a long way from snapping at people when he's tired or going through withdrawal, he still has very little brain-to-mouth filter and usually just says whatever he's thinking, even if he probably shouldn't. He's still working on that. He's gotten into fights with Salem over his drug addiction and how much it puts him at risk, and he used to get into shouting matches with his father whenever Amantius was actually around. He also fights with strangers. Someone cops a feel when he's not in the mood? That might lead to a fight. Someone insults him or purposely tries to pick a fight? That's definitely going to end in violence.
Dyme is stubborn as a bull. He's never backed down from anything he set his mind to. He wanted to be a musician from a young age, and never let his father talk him out of it. He never let any failures with record labels stop him either, and has always strived for things he wants to accomplish. He also doesn’t back down from a fight, even if it’s against someone he loves, like the times he’s physically fought and argued with Salem over his drug addiction.
He has a slew of pet peeves, including people invading his personal space, people touching his guitars, and people messing up his home. Respecting personal space is important to him and he tries his hardest not to make anyone uncomfortable. He's also a neat freak and hates people disrupting the order of things. Everything has to be in its proper place or it drives him crazy. He also just doesn't trust people not to break or mess up his guitars. He spent a lot of money on them, and a lot of them have sentimental value for him.
While in a good mood, Dyme is friendly and easy to talk to. He thrives off of social connections and isn't afraid of meeting new people or putting himself out there to make new friends. He's laid back, easy to get along with because he doesn't like making people uncomfortable, so will back away from any topics that seem to have that effect on someone. He won't poke or pry at anything private, either. For instance, he easily made friends with the rest of his band just by being himself and feeling them out over some drinks, figuring out where each of their personal boundaries were. He also easily made friends with Moira by helping her out with her brother and just being there when she needed someone. When he's alone with someone or at home though, Dyme is much quieter. He values silence just as much as he does the chance to hang out with people, and uses any quiet downtime to unwind and clear his head.
Dyme's biggest fear used to be that, when he fell in love, he would lose that person. Either they would leave or something would happen to them, and he'd be alone again. This stemmed from losing his mother when he was born, and losing his brother as a child. It's already happened to him once with Moira, and almost happened again with Salem. More than almost anything except for music, Dyme wants someone to love him. He doesn't handle rejection or loss very well, but it's still never stopped him from making the first move when he realized he had serious feelings for someone. He's only been genuinely in love twice in his life, and everything else has been something more casual, less frightening.
Losing Moira was hard for him. She was sweet and kind and caring, charismatic enough to draw him in like a moth to a flame. He would have done anything to make her happy and keep her safe if it had been within his power. She made him want to be a better person, something that not many people in Dyme's life have ever accomplished. She made him drop his walls and all the defenses he'd built up over the years, and if he'd had his way, he would have married her and spent the rest of his life with her. He would have even had kids with her, and Dyme isn't the biggest fan of kids.
Salem is the first and only man Dyme has ever loved, though not the only man he's been attracted to. While Dyme had strong feelings for Bellamy, they were still only friends and Dyme isn't sure if it ever edged over into love. He chooses not to think about it too much, to keep things from getting complicated. But with Salem, there's no denying that Dyme loves him. They might have fought a lot and had rocky times, but Salem never gave up on him and Dyme never stopped caring. Salem is special to him in a way that no one else probably ever will be.
Dyme used to deal with negative emotions--depression, guilt, humiliation, etc--with drugs. That was the answer to all of his problems, the way he would make himself feel better. He'd use the drug Hush to keep himself from doing even stupider things when he was able to, even if resorting to it was a stupid thing in itself. Now? Now he deals with things in a much healthier way, like everyone else. He listens to music or watches videos on the internet, any way he can find to make himself feel better without hurting himself.
Dyme flirts as easily as he breathes. While a lot of the time it'll be casual, aka he's not trying to get laid, he just can't stop from complimenting someone. He's also flirted with most of the people in his life at least once. This includes the other members of his band, especially Bellamy. He's definitely flirted with all of his backup singers, too, especially Moira, even before he found out about her brother or started to fall in love with her. If someone is attractive, he can't help himself; they need to know that he thinks they're hot. He doesn't want to make anyone uncomfortable though and will back off if his compliments make someone uneasy. He means no harm by it and doesn't usually stick his foot in his mouth. Sometimes, though, he can be awkward as hell; he's not perfect. He does enjoy sex--a lot--but he's mellowed out over the years and isn't as insatiable as he used to be when he was a little younger. He's learned how to take it slow and not rush into physical intimacy.
On a good day, Dyme comes across as cheerful and confident, even a little arrogant. He's confident in his musical talents and about his career; he's fought hard for what he has and knows that people enjoy his music. The support of his fans means a lot to him and is a large part of why he keeps making music. He treats his fans like gold and is always glad to talk to them or sign autographs, take pictures with them, whatever makes them happy (within reason). He likes for his fans to feel like each and every one of them matters to him, and they do, because without them he wouldn't be where he is. He always stops to give each of them personal attention if he encounters them in his normal day-to-day life. He enjoys making sure they're having a good time interacting with him. Making sure his fans are happy is especially important to him. He wants them to have a positive memory of having met him. He's not snobby, and doesn't think he's better than anyone else because of his wealth or fame; he acts more like an average person when it comes to talking to others than he does a rockstar. He also enjoys doing nice things for people, like when he agreed to meet Moira's brother without having to be asked.
He's also proud of his progress and how far he's come, and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, no matter how hard it was at times. And, as someone proud of what he's accomplished, he adores any and all praise he receives and soaks it up like a sponge.
Dyme is charismatic and easy to get along with. He never pushes a subject if it makes someone uncomfortable, and he'll back off immediately if his flirting causes discomfort. He's always had a spark of charisma, even when he was a child. All of his brother's close friends enjoyed his company, despite their age gap, and most of them treated him like a little brother instead of a nuisance. Dyme's always been laid back in social situations and never pestered people with endless questions (like his brother's friends), and as he grew up, the spark grew with him. He's managed to charm himself into a lot of places. Charming the bouncer to be allowed into the bar for underage drinking when he was younger? Check. Charming his (former) drug dealers to occasionally throw in a little extra? Double check. He even made friends with some of them and hung out with them from time to time. He's also generally more honest and understanding with people. He never hid things from Moira, for example, because she already knew about his worst secret; his drug addiction. He was always open with her, telling her how he was doing, how he was feeling.
Dyme is not without his regrets though, and one of the things he regrets most of all is the death of his brother. It was in no way his fault, but Nyckel was the only real family Dyme had, so he blames himself for not being able to save him. Nyckel was the only person who supported and encouraged Dyme when they were growing up and Dyme had always looked up to him. He knows Nyckel would have done everything in his power to save him if their situation had been different growing up. Dyme also regrets never being able to know his mother, even though that was in no way his fault, either. The only things Dyme knows about his mother are from the stories that Nyckel would tell him about her, and he wishes he had more.
As far as Dyme's suicidal tendencies go, he's got a lot of survivor's guilt. For his entire life, before he moved away from home, his father blamed him for his mother's death, and eventually, Dyme started to blame himself, too. If he'd never been born, his mother would still be alive. His father never approved of Dyme's failure to finish school or his decision to become a musician. The second blow came when Dyme's brother was killed. Dyme blames himself for that, too, since he got it into his head that he should have been able to do something to help Nyckel. Both of those things combined with the fact that Dyme's a very emotional person who feels emotions strongly, which includes his guilt and self-blame, his anger, and shame over his drug addiction. After so many years of feeling guilt and being told he was responsible for his mother's death, and then blaming himself for Nyckel's death, Dyme developed depression. He doesn't believe that he deserves to live after he's failed people or caused them to die. Throw in the stress of working in the music industry on top of that, and you end up with a cocktail of bad emotions. When things get to be too much for him, Dyme cracks under the pressure and tries to take his own life.
Despite all of his confidence in his music, Dyme is horribly self-conscious about himself as a person. Though he's a recovering addict, he hates that aspect of himself. He doesn't like keeping secrets from people but hides things like his scars because he's ashamed of them. His track marks and other scars, a pair of gunshot scars on his right shoulder, mild burn scars on his upper back, and slight, barely noticeable scars on his chest from when he was cut with broken glass, are all things that bother him. All of them except the track marks were obtained in the building fire when Dyme was thirteen. To handle these scars, Dyme never goes out in public without a shirt or something else with long sleeves. On stage, he typically wears an open-front jacket, since he's not so bothered by the scars on his chest. If he has to do photoshoots, he relies on makeup artists to cover his track marks, and he's never photographed from the back if his back is bare. He's spent a long time worrying that his scars make him undesirable, that no one would want him after they saw them, and he's still struggling to become comfortable with them.
He doesn't think he's strong enough to handle a lot of things on his own. He got used to doing drugs as a crutch to carry him through difficult times, so he gets frightened that even though he's clean now he'll relapse back into old habits. Without Salem by his side, he doesn't know if he could be strong enough. He wants to stay clean though; he was always ashamed of his addiction and knew it was horrible and unhealthy for him. He doesn't want to go back to worrying like he did before that he'll inevitably die from an overdose.
While Dyme has mellowed out some over the years and his patience has grown, he's still pretty short-tempered. Though he has come a long way from snapping at people when he's tired or going through withdrawal, he still has very little brain-to-mouth filter and usually just says whatever he's thinking, even if he probably shouldn't. He's still working on that. He's gotten into fights with Salem over his drug addiction and how much it puts him at risk, and he used to get into shouting matches with his father whenever Amantius was actually around. He also fights with strangers. Someone cops a feel when he's not in the mood? That might lead to a fight. Someone insults him or purposely tries to pick a fight? That's definitely going to end in violence.
Dyme is stubborn as a bull. He's never backed down from anything he set his mind to. He wanted to be a musician from a young age, and never let his father talk him out of it. He never let any failures with record labels stop him either, and has always strived for things he wants to accomplish. He also doesn’t back down from a fight, even if it’s against someone he loves, like the times he’s physically fought and argued with Salem over his drug addiction.
He has a slew of pet peeves, including people invading his personal space, people touching his guitars, and people messing up his home. Respecting personal space is important to him and he tries his hardest not to make anyone uncomfortable. He's also a neat freak and hates people disrupting the order of things. Everything has to be in its proper place or it drives him crazy. He also just doesn't trust people not to break or mess up his guitars. He spent a lot of money on them, and a lot of them have sentimental value for him.
While in a good mood, Dyme is friendly and easy to talk to. He thrives off of social connections and isn't afraid of meeting new people or putting himself out there to make new friends. He's laid back, easy to get along with because he doesn't like making people uncomfortable, so will back away from any topics that seem to have that effect on someone. He won't poke or pry at anything private, either. For instance, he easily made friends with the rest of his band just by being himself and feeling them out over some drinks, figuring out where each of their personal boundaries were. He also easily made friends with Moira by helping her out with her brother and just being there when she needed someone. When he's alone with someone or at home though, Dyme is much quieter. He values silence just as much as he does the chance to hang out with people, and uses any quiet downtime to unwind and clear his head.
Dyme's biggest fear used to be that, when he fell in love, he would lose that person. Either they would leave or something would happen to them, and he'd be alone again. This stemmed from losing his mother when he was born, and losing his brother as a child. It's already happened to him once with Moira, and almost happened again with Salem. More than almost anything except for music, Dyme wants someone to love him. He doesn't handle rejection or loss very well, but it's still never stopped him from making the first move when he realized he had serious feelings for someone. He's only been genuinely in love twice in his life, and everything else has been something more casual, less frightening.
Losing Moira was hard for him. She was sweet and kind and caring, charismatic enough to draw him in like a moth to a flame. He would have done anything to make her happy and keep her safe if it had been within his power. She made him want to be a better person, something that not many people in Dyme's life have ever accomplished. She made him drop his walls and all the defenses he'd built up over the years, and if he'd had his way, he would have married her and spent the rest of his life with her. He would have even had kids with her, and Dyme isn't the biggest fan of kids.
Salem is the first and only man Dyme has ever loved, though not the only man he's been attracted to. While Dyme had strong feelings for Bellamy, they were still only friends and Dyme isn't sure if it ever edged over into love. He chooses not to think about it too much, to keep things from getting complicated. But with Salem, there's no denying that Dyme loves him. They might have fought a lot and had rocky times, but Salem never gave up on him and Dyme never stopped caring. Salem is special to him in a way that no one else probably ever will be.
Dyme used to deal with negative emotions--depression, guilt, humiliation, etc--with drugs. That was the answer to all of his problems, the way he would make himself feel better. He'd use the drug Hush to keep himself from doing even stupider things when he was able to, even if resorting to it was a stupid thing in itself. Now? Now he deals with things in a much healthier way, like everyone else. He listens to music or watches videos on the internet, any way he can find to make himself feel better without hurting himself.
Dyme flirts as easily as he breathes. While a lot of the time it'll be casual, aka he's not trying to get laid, he just can't stop from complimenting someone. He's also flirted with most of the people in his life at least once. This includes the other members of his band, especially Bellamy. He's definitely flirted with all of his backup singers, too, especially Moira, even before he found out about her brother or started to fall in love with her. If someone is attractive, he can't help himself; they need to know that he thinks they're hot. He doesn't want to make anyone uncomfortable though and will back off if his compliments make someone uneasy. He means no harm by it and doesn't usually stick his foot in his mouth. Sometimes, though, he can be awkward as hell; he's not perfect. He does enjoy sex--a lot--but he's mellowed out over the years and isn't as insatiable as he used to be when he was a little younger. He's learned how to take it slow and not rush into physical intimacy.
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The track marks and the burn scars bother him the most, in terms of being self-conscious about them, and if he can help it, he never goes without a shirt or something with long sleeves in public. On stage, he typically wears an open front jacket, since he’s not so bothered by the scars on his chest. If he has to do photoshoots, he relies on makeup artists to cover his track marks, and he’s never photographed from the back if his back is bare. When he has sex with a stranger, and has to show them his body, he prefers to do it in the dark. It’s harder to feel self-conscious about scars when it’s too dark to see them, and as far as feeling them goes, well, if they’re focusing on his scars instead of everything else, he’s doing something wrong.
Dyme is charismatic and easy to get along with. He never pushes a subject if it makes someone uncomfortable, he’ll back off immediately if his flirting causes discomfort. He always had a spark of charisma, even when he was a child. His brother’s friends all enjoyed his company, despite their large age gap, and most of them treated him like a little brother instead of a nuisance. Dyme has always been laid back in social situations, and never pestered people with endless questions (like his brother’s friends). As he grew up, this spark grew with him, and he’s managed to charm himself into a lot of places. Charming the bouncer to be allowed into a bar for underage drinking when he was younger? Check. Charming his (former) drug dealers to occasionally throw in a little extra? Double check. He even made friends with some of them, and hung out with them from time to time.
He enjoys getting along with people, especially fans, and making sure they’re having a good time interacting with him. Making sure his fans are happy is especially important to him. He wants them to have a positive memory of having met him, and doesn’t mind signing autographs or stopping for pictures. He’s not snobby, and doesn’t think he’s better than anyone because of his wealth and fame; he acts more like an average person when it comes to talking to others than he does a rockstar. He also enjoys doing nice things for people, such as when he agreed to meet Moira’s brother without having to be asked.
Dyme has flirted with most of the people in his life at least once. This includes the other members of his band, especially Bellamy. If someone is attractive, he can’t help himself; they need to know that he thinks they’re hot. It’s not even always about wanting to get into bed with someone; he just enjoys flirting with people he finds attractive. He’s definitely flirted with all of his back up singers, again, especially Moira, even before he found out about her brother or started to fall in love with her.
As far as Dyme’s suicidal tendencies go, he has a lot of survivor’s guilt. For his entire life before he moved away from home, his father blamed him for his mother’s death, and eventually Dyme started to blame himself too. If he’d never been born, his mother would still be alive. Blow number two came when his brother was killed. Dyme blames himself for that, too, since he got it into his head that he should have been able to do something more to help Nyckel. Both of those things combined with the fact that Dyme is a very emotional person, he feels emotions strongly, and that includes his guilt and self-blame, his anger, his shame (with his drug addiction). After so many years of feeling guilt and being told he was responsible for his mother’s death, and then blaming himself for Nyckel’s death, Dyme developed depression. He doesn’t believe that he deserves to live after he’s failed people or caused them to die. Throw in the stress of working in the music industry on top of that, and you end up with a cocktail of bad emotions. When things get to be too much for him, Dyme cracks under all of the guilt and pressure, and tries to take his own life.
Stubborn; Dyme is stubborn as a bull. He’s never backed down from anything he set his mind to. He wanted to be a musician from a young age, and never let his father talk him out of it. He never let any failures with record labels stop him either, and has always strived for things he wants to accomplish. He also doesn’t back down from a fight, even if it’s against someone he loves, like the times he’s physically fought and argued with Salem over his drug addiction.
Short-tempered; While Dyme’s mellowed out some over the years, he’s still pretty short-tempered. He’s gotten into fights with Salem over his drug addiction and how much it puts him at risk, and used to get into shouting matches with his father whenever Amantius was actually around. He also fights with strangers. Someone cops a feel when he’s not in the mood? That might lead to a fight. Someone insults him or purposely tries to pick a fight? That’s definitely ending in violence.
Kind; He enjoys doing nice things for people. Even if it’s as simple as paying for someone’s lunch or giving them a few bucks for the bus. While he barely knew her, he agreed to meet Moira’s brother to let the kid meet his favorite rockstar, without even having to be asked. Dyme did a lot of nice things for Zack; hanging out with him, giving him some free merch, playing video games with him. Dyme knows that life is short, and you have to make the most of it while you have the chance.
Self-destructive; While Dyme looks out for others and does nice things for them, he’s very flippant about his own well-being. He gets into fights, usually with strangers, sometimes with people he cares about, just for the sake of being in a fight. He did drugs, which he knows is a detriment to his health, but he had a lot of trouble stopping them because they made him feel better. It took a lot of work for him to start to ease off of them.
Friendly; Dyme isn’t afraid of meeting new people, putting himself out there to make new friends. He’s laid back, easy to get along with because he doesn’t like making people uncomfortable, so will back away from any topics that seem to have that effect on someone. He won’t poke or pry at anything private, either. For instance, he easily made friends with the rest of his band by just being himself and feeling them out over some drinks, figuring out where each of their personal boundaries were. He also easily made friends with Moira by helping her out with her brother and just being there when she needed someone.
Self-conscious; Dyme’s bothered by some of his scars and prefers to keep them covered whenever he can, whether by makeup or clothes. He also knows he’s not the greatest person because of his short temper and (former) drug addiction, despite his attempts to be a good person.
Charismatic; Dyme’s a very likable person, easy to get along with. He’s charmed his way past bouncers to get into bars, charmed his past drug dealers and became friends with them, hanging out sometimes, grabbing lunch together. He has a way with people, he’s not forceful, or arrogant. He’s generally more honest and understanding. He never hid things from Moira, for example, because she already knew about his worst secret; his drug addiction. He was always open with her, telling her how he was doing, how he was feeling. He also makes his fans feel special, like each and every one of them matters to him (and they do, because without them he wouldn’t be where he is). He always stops to give each of them personal attention if he encounters them in his normal day to day life.